The San Francisco Neo-Futurists Present…

AN ARCHIVE OF ALL THE DIGITAL PLAYS WE’VE PREMIERED THUS FAR

sfneofuturists.org / @sfneofuturists / info@sfneofuturists.com

• Distance (Amy to Clare) and Distance (Clare to Amy) 

• Yelling In Our Own Home 
• The Infinite Wrench 
• try to keep up now 
• A play for our moms 
• Hey, Can You See My T*tties? 
• Biden or Simpson 
• A song by Hap Palmer accompanied by a story about Hap Palmer 
• Clinging on to societal norms, but just barely 
• Huge F*cking Desk Concert 
• Cloud Play, a one act with no words 
• Analog Snapchat Filters for when you are bored during your next Zoom call 
• The Monster Won't Leave 
• What's in the Fridge? (a choral piece for six) 
• Going through the box for the second time 
• Send noodz; or: for a good time, text 415-903-4595
• Not Again 
• Retirement 
• Too Fast/Rewind 
• Work Out Play 
• Huge Fucking Desk Concert II
• someone to talk to
• I’ll Keep My Scared
• Private Disco, from us to you
• The Next Five Minutes, simulated
• Bath Bomb
• Pull away
• THESE SHOES
• The moment you meet someone only one of you remembers once meeting, is there a word for that? What is the word
• The Loneliness That Has Never Had The Initiative To
• Heads or Tails
• The Screaming into the Abyss Helpline (call 415-903-4595)
• In which Amy enlists acclaimed musician John Pierson (Screeching Weasel, Even in Blackouts) to help her, since music has really never been her bag, but this is a momentous occasion and needs to be celebrated through the power of song
• Shelter-in-Place Achievement Assessment Rubric
• Untitled Pandemic Play #1
• The Legend of Toilet Paper Head
• HELL NAW
• The Kindliness of Objects
• How to Drink Bleach
• fish, out of
• Gogo and Didi, 2020
• The Hunt
• The Legend of Toilet Paper Head 2: The Toilet Papering
• A Neo-Futurist “Magic” 8 Ball

Before pressing this link you MUST ask yourself a yes or no question.  Our answer will be randomly chosen from our own lives. Heed the answers or advice at your own peril or success. (We do not take responsibility, positive or negative, for your adherence to our random responses.)“Magic” 8 Ball

• A Good ‘Ol Doodle & Noodle
• Chain (mail)
• a play for the salt marshes and the tiny mice that live there
• truth & dare (a series of virtual task-based monologues)
• The Sofa Taxonomy Project
• I will be
• _for_
• 80,000 Dead
• Things to do with these useless things: thing #1
• Toni
• Brenda Found A Cardboard Box And Now She’s Pure Magic- Aw Fuck It, What Does It Even Matter If There’s A Vessel To Climb Out Of Since Part Of The Charm Of Doing It Onstage Is The Verve And Energy The Audience Provides Wheres Doing It Onscreen Is Like A Shitty Unboxing Video But Hey There’s The Box, There I Am, Why Don’t I Just Give You A Lil Something For Sticking Around To The End
• Political Chairs
• Collective Breath
• Simple Pleasures #1: Hiccups
• Nothing Comes Between Me and My Birxxx
• Simple Pleasures #2: Dishwasher Steam
• Simple Pleasures #3: Saying “hi” to my neighbor’s cat
• Simple Pleasures #4: Creeping
• It Is Not A Slender Blade of Grass
• Dark, Still[s], and Nash
• Who will teach them to be men if their mothers are Lesbians? Or a prepared reading of Al Pacino’s speech from Any Given Sunday.
• A Catalog of Items Confiscated From My Son for Hitting, Throwing, or Hammering
• American Journey (Vashon Island 2017)
• World Wide Wranch
• The TRUE, unfiltered, uNaDulTerATed, **REAL** life and times of TOPHER LIN!!
• Simple Pleasures #5: Parmesan Car Wash
• Child’s Play
• iPhone Unboxing: You Get What You Get And You Don't Get Upset
• I am almost done with this journal
• Spring Is Here! I Mean Just Look At These Sluts
• Only Fans 4 Only Fans
• I Went For A Walk With Stevie: Scrolling Through Keys Of Life
• Dear STUD
• queer riot
• A play called “In which you are who you are, where you are, and you’re watching Dr. Cornel West say ‘We are witnessing America as a failed social experiment’ on CNN.”
• a brief pause to feel yourself in your body, to let you muscles loosen before you (and you must) tense them again in service of the fight
• A Brick for Julius Caesar
• Yellow Power, Black Peril
• belief
• An Interactive, Non-Expert, Abridged History of American Riot
• Apologia Acedia
• "Thoughts and Prayers" Or: in which brands implicitly ask you to pretty please return to buying their stuff. Or: an archive of images to flood brands with after they’ve decided that it’s no longer trendy to say Black Lives Matter and go back to their usual bullshit
• one-woman farce
• The Only Black Man in the Galaxy
• one of these things is not like the other
• "Decolonize" the San Francisco Neo-Futurists
• A conversation with a goodish companion
• While you’re on the inside
• the night visitor
• the wonderful sounds of garlicky kale
• A slightly spooky, but not actually spooky ritual for ‘LG’ somewhat lifted from “The Craft”; or, ‘Lady G Sings The Blues’
• If we had a system of tubes…
• Physical chanting 6: Whisper into what remains
• Lettuce 
• not exactly a dance party
• picture them, smiling
• The Times They Won’t a Changin’
• where the rubber meets the road (not out but through)
• The theoretical size and shape of a dog named George
• dress rehearsal for the eventuality of when we get to do this again
• Protection: A villanelle
• The Sausage, and the Sausage Being Made: a novel by us (but mostly me)
• Father’s Day, 2018
• howdoistayinhisbrain
• Onion
• John Pierson ruined my Valentine’s Day
• A journal. A pen. A six-sided die.
• ‘Sympathetic Colonoscopy’
• Humble Brag/Petty Complaint
• A Play for Jonas
• “Decolonize” the San Francisco Neo-Futurists 2
• The Illusive Things
• untitled, for bear
• Sitting here, wishing I was big enough to get canceled
• Much Ado About Bumping
• DON'T
• Quitting Smoking is FUCKING Easy!
• Proof that if queer women can't be funny, then at least they can create basic recipes from scratch (after all we have been expected by society to be tethered to the kitchen since time began) OR Jessie re-enacts Antoni Porowski from Queer Eye making guacamole, and wonders why, if they went to all the trouble of changing the name to exclude 'straight guy' they didn't think to include any womxn in the Fab 5?
• You Fool, You've Orchestrated Your Own Doom: a fantasy about spam
• Re:location IV
• the rest of the show, but run through an automatic marketing video generator
• Hup
• THE BEANS
• Current Mood Shakeup (6 Neos, 6 songs, some dice, & 2 bevs each)
• the smallest voices
• small talk
• Zoom Tips for Macbook with Willie Caldwell
• Going Back part 2: Re-Crossing
• working on it
• Banned from Grindr
• Joyspace
• Hometown Trans Hero
• The reason this play didn't turn out the way I wanted it to
• It has been 146 days since Breonna Taylor was murdered.
• the future is uncertain and doesn’t have a return address
• Simple pleasures #6: Christmas in July
• Peel Porn
• a breathing record
• Nick's INFERNO, or the CVS down the street
• What do we do with all these broken things?
• Mapping Daily Community: A Coloring Book
• these disco legs
• my first sale
• HERE IS WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW
• Before Biden announces his VP pick... (or, some questions that have oscillating answers depending on if I’m on or off the clock)
• BREAD SONG or; life on keto
•  What mediums do you work with?
• year to date
• My voice
• Cibus poetica, Part I
• How to End Your Lifetime Membership in the NRA
• Cancelled 2020
• Pthe Ptravels of Pterry pthe Pterodactyl
• The Crossfire Film Festival
• Brb I am practicing for Zoom 11th grade
• One minute of loss (but also so many) (LIVE ON ZOOM)
• Sunset duet roulette ( LIVE ON IG)
• Call me by my mango
• Break my heart, again (Alternative to ghost) (LIVE ON ZOOM)
• Finding My Way to You
• The San Francisco Neo-Futurists Animorphs Book Club
• Order By Number
• The Tiny Penis: a guided meditation
• I wrote this for you
•  You Should Be Asleep TV (IG LIVE PLAY)
• persistence of vision
• REDNECK
• A Rough Approximation of the Good Work Being Done by Online Communists
• A year ago, Amy and Willie had a day out: a guided tour
• Which background Simpsons character are you?
• Paean to a Certain Sort of Parsimony
• Le plaisir
• Which background Simpsons character are you?
• Paean to a Certain Sort of Parsimony (The Land of Milk and Honey! It’s Here! It Calls! Heed Me Now!)
• Guitar for Hire!
• 01101000 01100101 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101111 01101110 01101111 01110010 01101101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00111010
• The Hardest Working Man in Late Night
• dial-up download (a digital re-enactment)
• 🐋 friends, 2020
• It takes time to find the answers
• A skit.
• PRANKZ
• Today in Gouache
• Love Bites
• Smaller (or: how you were going to watch this monologue anyway)
• how we felt upon hearing that ruth bader ginsburg died today
• Dress Up In You
• The Fourth Annual Rocktober
• Moderate Depression, Extreme Clarity
• A Digital Online Reading of “An Autonomous Vehicle Named Horniness,” a New American Play
• The San Francisco Neo-Futurists Swede Portrait of a Lady on Fire
• Reassignment
• Ringringringringringringringringringringringring
• A new tiny fear, added on to the ever-growing pile
• What Focus?
• Digital Footprint: a live reading of Amy's high school LiveJournal as an anthropological study into aughts teenhood
• The New York Neos Show Off Their Stuff For Ya
• how I'd normally get to know you (adjusted for this new world)
• Scraped By
• We are ALL Bidens Grandkids Now
• IDA CUTTLER CHICAGO NEOFUTURIST IS DOING A VIRTUAL RUN WITH THE SAN FRANCISCO NEOFUTURISTS. HERE IS A VIDEO OF HER THE LAST TIME SHE DID A RUN WITH THE SAN FRANCISCO NEOFUTURISTS, WHEN, AFTER A SHOW THEY ALL GOT DRUNK AT THE CINCH IN THE FILLMORE AND THEN THEY ALL WENT TO BOB’S DONUTS NEXT DOOR AND  SOMEONE CONVINCED IDA TO ENTER BOB’S BIG DONUT EATING CHALLENGE. IN THIS CHALLENGE IDA HAD  TO EAT A DONUT THE SIZE OF A BABY IN UNDER 3 MINUTES IN ORDER TO GET A BOB’S DONUT T SHIRT AND HER NAME WRITTEN IN WHAT BOBS WEBSITE CALLS “THE HALL OF FAME” BUT IS REALLY JUST THE DONUT SHOPS YELLOW, CRACKED, GREASE STAINED WALL. DID SHE SUCCEED? NO SPOILERS. CLICK TO FIND OUT
• Bay Area Throwback Mixtape
• Plants
• Absence Haptics
• Left of Center (and the stream of consciousness that tries to take me back)
• 'Tis the Season
• a brief report on the American flag
• War and Peace
• Canceling Comcast: a phone call, a mystery
• WHAT'S MY BOYFRIEND WATCHIN'? 
• Tiny Mouth
• Fakin It But Makin It ‘Outdoor’ Edish

Written, directed, and performed by the San Francisco Neo-Futurists...

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